#BlogTour: We Have Lost The Chihuahuas by @QuiteFunnyGuy @WeHaveLostBooks | @emmamitchellfpr

WHLTChihuahuas_cover_small (2).jpg“London, 2046. The British Republic has a new First Lady. She’s Californian, ‘in-your-face, for sure’ and she’s got big plans for a Buckingham Palace refurb. When her three Chihuahuas go missing, one man is determined to avoid getting dragged into it all. His name is Pond. Howie Pond – presidential spokesperson, retired secret agent and cat lover.

Meanwhile, Howie’s wife Britt is handed her first assignment as a National Security and Intelligence Service rookie – to solve the mystery of the missing canine trio.

Will Howie manage to slope off to the pub before he can be roped into help? Will Britt unmask the dognapper and grab the glory? Find out, in the latest, crazy comedy-thriller from dog-loving British author Paul Mathews.”

I am delighted to be kicking off the We Have Lost the Chihuahuas blog tour alongside the fabulous Rae Reads and Bits About Books.  We Have Lost the Chihuahuas is book four in author Paul Mathew’s comedy thriller series ‘We Have Lost..’ and is published on 28th November 2017.

Today, I have an extract from the book to whet your appetite. So without further ado, grab a cuppa and have a read…

When it came to household pets, Howie had always been more of a cat-type of guy than a dog lover. And, as he stood shivering in the cold January air of London’s St James’ Park, watching a Chihuahua sinking his teeth into his chief press officer’s right ankle, he was pretty sure his views on the subject wouldn’t be changing any time soon.

‘Argh! Get off me, you four-legged eejit!’ screamed Conor O’Brean, yanking the dog’s lead so hard, it lifted off the ground and flew a metre in the air before rejoining terra firma.

Rather than risk his own ankles, Howie decided to beat a strategic retreat in the way that battlefield generals often did when things weren’t quite going to plan. He had full confidence in the Irishman under his command. Howie would allow Conor to regain control of the situation without a superior officer such as himself – who had no experience of hand-to-hand Chihuahua combat – getting in the way of the human-canine skirmish.

Once Howie was safely out of the line of fire, he noticed the other two dogs had also retreated. This clearly wasn’t the first time they’d seen their pack mate in full battle-mode.

‘Behave yourself, Donnie!’ yelled Conor, as he started to become entangled in the dogs’ leads.

The angry animal snarled with a ferocity that sent every bird within a fifty-metre radius fleeing for the treetops.

Conor upped the volume. ‘I mean it! Stop this nonsense or I’ll tell your mammy you’ve been a bad boy.’

Donnie stopped snarling and cocked an ear, as if daring Conor to repeat the threat.

‘I’m serious! I’ll tell your mammy and your pappy, too. And he’s the president, remember. You don’t want to get the wrong side of him, do you now? Or he’ll have you sent back to America.’

Donnie lowered his head slowly, flopped his tail between his legs in apparent surrender, and slunk up to Conor.

‘There’s a good little fella.’ Conor glanced at Howie. ‘I knew a bit of old-fashioned Irish diplomacy would make him see sense.’

Howie noticed the other two Chihuahuas were still keeping their distance, so he followed their example.

Conor reached down and patted the defeated dog on the head. ‘Peace has been restored to the fair land of Westminster. Hostilities have officially ceased. The battle of St James’ Park has been fought – and won – and shall never be forgotten by those who risked their lives so that three dogs could stretch their legs and empty their tanks.’

Howie made a mock salute. ‘We will never forget your sacrifice, Private O’Brean. I’ll be recommending you for a President’s gallantry award.’

Conor stared into Donnie’s chocolate-brown eyes. ‘We, who were once enemies … are now brothers in arms.’

Without warning, Donnie launched a counter attack and bit Conor’s right thumb, making him scream so loudly Howie had to pretend for half a minute they didn’t know each other.

The angry mutt then charged towards Conor’s left ankle. But the Irishman managed to block the advance with the sole of his boot. Amid all the conflict, the other two Chihuahuas sat shivering on the edge of the path watching their canine comrade – possibly also trying to pretend they didn’t know him.

‘Donnie, sit!’ shouted Howie from the safety of the grass verge – which was now doubling as an impromptu war room.

The dog froze – as if stunned that another human would be stupid enough to enter the fray. Once it got over the shock, it locked a wide-eyed stare onto Howie and raised its top lip to display an impressive arsenal of jagged yellow teeth. This dog was clearly a combat veteran.

We Have Lost the Chihuahuas by Paul Mathews will be published in the UK on Tuesday 28th November 2017 and will be available in eBook format.  If you would like to pre-order this fun-filled furry caper then please click HERE (amazon.co.uk link).

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about the author3

41lkaQvyNGL._SY200_.jpgPaul Mathews is a quite funny British guy who’s managed to escape his day job and is currently on the run as a comedy novelist. His sharp, satirical – often surreal – sense of humour draws on 20 years as a British Government press officer, during which time he encountered politicians, senior civil servants, HR managers, and lots of other people who really sucked at their jobs.

His popular ‘We Have Lost’ comedy-thriller series set in 2040s London, starring beleaguered presidential spokesman and wannabe secret agent Howie Pond, currently comprises four titles with more on the way. Paul has read all the books at least ten times and highly recommends them.

Make him happy by signing up for his ‘Very Funny Newsletter’ here: www.quitefunnyguy.com/newsletter. If you don’t want to sign up for it, stay calm and do nothing.

Paul also owns a cat, Lulu, who works as his assistant. All fan mail to her, please.

Author Links:Twitter |Facebook | Website |

#BookReview: A Man With One of Those Faces by Caimh McDonnell (@Caimh) #McForiInk @elaineofori

51wI8sVmPFL._SY346_“Thrilling shouldn’t be this funny, funny shouldn’t be this thrilling.

The first time somebody tried to kill him was an accident.

The second time was deliberate.

Now Paul Mulchrone finds himself on the run with nobody to turn to except a nurse who has read one-too-many crime novels and a renegade copper with a penchant for violence. Together they must solve one of the most notorious crimes in Irish history . . .

. . . or else they’ll be history.”

Back in September 2016 when my husband was still in his thirties, when Honey G was nobody special (?!), when Ore Oduba was just that guy from BBC Sport and The Great British Bake Off was still on the BBC, I hosted a guest post from debut crime thriller author Caimh McDonnell to celebrate the release of A Man With One of Those Faces.  If you missed that post the first time around, or if you would like a quick recap then please click here.  It’s worth a read as Caimh writes about why he hates comedic crime, despite writing comedic crime (and being a standup comedian…go figure!).

After hosting that post I was very keen to read A Man With One of Those Faces.  It’s been sat on my Kindle for a little while now, trying to tempt me away from my reading schedule.  Then one day I thought to myself, it’s nearly Christmas which means a bookish treat is in order.  So my bookish treat to myself this year was squeezing A Man With One of Those Faces in when I should have been reading future blog tour books (whoops!).  And WHAT a treat it was!

A Man With One of Those Faces centres mainly around three characters.  Professional granny whisperer, Paul Mulchrone earns a measly living by carrying out a set number of hours of charity work as dictated by the will of his very dead, yet completely bonkers great-aunt.  Searching for the path of least resistance and being a man with one of those faces, Paul kicks off a career in granny whispering.  By visiting local hospices and hospitals Paul encounters the heroine of the story, the crime fiction obsessed Nurse Brigit Conroy who through no fault of her own, unwittingly gets Paul stabbed.  Being stabbed is only the start of it and before long Nurse Brigit and Paul are running for their lives.  DS Bunny McGarry runs the local hurling club where all the local lads, including 12 year old Paul Mulchrone played.  That was until a catastrophic falling out between Bunny and Paul, which Paul still holds a fierce grudge about.  But that doesn’t matter to Bunny; Paul is still one of his boys.  With an admirable devotion to his sport, Bunny never leaves the house without his hurley to hand and boy, he is not afraid to use it! *ouch*.

The plot was very good with some great twists but for me, this book was all about it’s enchanting cast of slightly crazy, somewhat violent characters who I ended up adoring.  I WANT to read more about these characters as I feel a real fondness and warmth for them, they’re flawed people but that adds to their crazy appeal.  Don’t get me wrong though, this book is action packed with shootings, crazy serial killers and hitmen.  Blimey, I loved it!

I found the smaller, less significant characters had an endearing pull about them too.  I don’t tend to remember the supporting cast very often but I know this lot are going to stay with me.  Such as creepy balloon man Phil, gun-wielding octogenarian Dorothy and ‘days from retirement’ but married to the job, DI Jimmy Stewart.

I fell completely in love with Paul, Nurse Brigit and Bunny and I am excited that Caimh McDonnell is about to publish book two, The Day That Never Comes. (Psst, I’m on the blog tour for TDTNC on 25th January 2017 with another brilliant guest post from Caimh; one for the diary, perhaps?)

Would I recommend this book?  I most definitely would!  It’s funny, it’s very Irish and my heart hasn’t warmed to such a unlikely bunch of heroes for a long time.  I can’t wait to read The Day That Never Comes and have Paul, Nurse Brigit and Bunny back in my life.  A very well written debut thriller that shows a real understanding of the author’s charming characters.  Superb!

Five out of five stars.

I chose to read and review an ARC of A Man With One of Those Faces.  My thanks to Elaine Ofori, McFori Ink and NetGalley for the review copy.

A Man With One of Those Faces by Caimh McDonnell was published in the UK by McFori Ink on 5th September 2016 and is available in paperback and eBook formats | amazon.co.uk | amazon.com | Waterstones | Goodreads |

Smith & Sons (11)

caimh_press_pic2Caimh McDonnell is an award-winning stand-up comedian, author and writer of televisual treats.

His writing credits include The Sarah Millican Television Programme, A League of Their Own, Mock the Week and Have I Got News for You. He also works as a children’s TV writer and was BAFTA nominated for the animated series ‘Pet Squad’ which he created. He was also a winner in the BBC’s Northern Laffs sitcom writing competition.

During his time on the British stand-up circuit, Caimh has firmly established himself as the white-haired Irishman whose name nobody can pronounce. He has brought the funny worldwide, doing stand-up tours of the Far East, the Middle East and Near East (Norwich).

His debut novel, A Man with One of Those Faces, a pacy crime thriller set in Dublin, is out now.

Connect with Caimh via Twitter @Caimh or his Facebook page.